


More

by mymindismyweapon



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fiveya Week, Fiveya Week 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2020-10-05 23:28:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20497127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mymindismyweapon/pseuds/mymindismyweapon
Summary: Another entry into Fiveya Week! Prompt: JealousyThe Commission has been defeated and all Five has time to think about now is Vanya.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Guys I'm so sorry it's late! This was the one I was excited about writing and boyyyy did it turn into another monster. I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Note: There was very little editing, so I hope it isn't too messy!

Five was seething. He didn’t want to be, but when he was ignored and his expert advice was disregarded, how could he not be? People were scum and couldn’t be trusted to respect the boundaries of others.  _ Why was Vanya so naive?  _

“You were practically  _ glowing  _ up there, Vanya!” Allison cooed, gushing over their sister’s debut at the Icarus. All of the Hargreeves siblings made their way to Vanya’s apartment to celebrate her achievements. Their laughter and chatter was loudly echoing across the street, only a few random pedestrians remained in the deepening evening, fraying Five’s nerves even more. No one’s motivations can ever be trusted. 

Diego loosened his tie, releasing the top button, “Probably because she was  _ literally  _ glowing, Allison. Her powers do that, remember?” Eudora smacked him with her clutch, gaining a look of resentment from her boyfriend. “And they do that when she’s totally rockin’ it on the violin.” He added with dry enthusiasm, searching for approval in the petite woman beside him. She only rolled her eyes. 

“Thanks, Diego. I’m glad you two were able to come tonight.” Vanya chimed in, smiling shyly at her brother. Their relationship was still strained and awkward, even with the current timeline preventing the publication of Vanya’s “book of betrayal,” as Diego referred to it. It had been six years since they returned to their thirteen-year-old bodies, to re-live their hellish years in the Umbrella Academy, only to provide the training and proper bonding needed to avoid the apocalypse. In other words, to fix Vanya _and _themselves. 

Klaus danced forward, most likely craving the attention he hadn’t gotten for the last thirty seconds. “Oh, sweet sister!” He bumped Five off the sidewalk in his swaying movements, settling his arm over Vanya’s shoulder. “They did you such a disservice!” 

Everyone glared at Klaus in confusion, and Vanya asked in concern, “What do you mean?”

“They didn’t even have you on one of those fancy stages that raise you all the way up to the ceiling. No one could see you!” Everyone but Five chuckled at Klaus’s dramatic dismay, swooning his lanky body over his sister’s shoulders. “And there were barely any lights! Some strobe lights or laser beams would have made the night much more elegant!” 

Allison shoved playfully at Klaus over Vanya. Her giggle reached Five’s ears, but there was a tension in it. Five didn’t blame her. Everyone thought that since she was small, that meant they could take advantage and assert themselves in her space. It’s not like she would ever say anything, especially not to her siblings. She loved them too much. But, what bothered Five the most was her tolerance toward strangers’ overbearance. 

Five reached out and yanked his brother’s arm, keeping him from crushing Vanya. “Knock it off, Klaus.” He threatened, releasing Klaus when he was safely off of her. 

“Whaaat?” He whined in response, jutting his jaw out childishly. Klaus had made a full recovery from his drug addictions, allowing his power to develop properly. Just because Klaus was much more powerful now, didn’t mean he was much more mature.

“She doesn’t like to be hung on like that.  _ No one does _ .” He growled, dodging his brother’s grabby hands. He could feel Vanya’s eyes on him. She had been stealing glances his way since they left the theater. She knew he was irritated about something. 

Ben strode forward, interrupting their squabble, “Five is right, Klaus. Just because you have the upper body strength of a baby, doesn’t mean you can hang on everyone.” Ben was walking between them now, shielding Five. He was always more understanding of Klaus than anyone else. Five supposed spending your life and death, and then your life  _ again _ , with the man as his soul confidant would build some resilience and understanding. He really thought Ben was a significant part of their success in the new timeline. His death left a crevice between them all only needing his forgiveness to bridge it, and his presence to bring them together. 

Five appreciated the buffer, watching as he gracefully allowed a pouty Klaus to dangle over his shoulders from behind. Diego was reprimanding him, too. But in a fussy way that they all knew Klaus liked. Five became distracted though, watching as Allison moved in on Vanya, glancing slyly in his direction.  _ She was doing something to meddle with them again. _

Allison put her arm around Vanya, moving her away from their brothers’ attention and muttered too softly for anyone else but Five to hear, a challenge in her comment, “That one guy was hanging all over you, though. He was pretty cute!” 

Fire blazed through his veins. The scorching memory of that blonde douchebag hugging her for much too long, his hands lingering on her lower back, in front of  _ everyone  _ and the look on her face; pleading for a way out. And she didn’t say a word to him. She was too tolerant. Too kind. He thought she would have learned. 

It was impulse to jump to her side when she was uncomfortable, wanting to ward off, or scare off, whoever was causing her displeasure. It started when they traveled back to 2002 and all of them made her uneasy. He couldn’t blame her. Luther locking her away in that cell and everyone not doing a damn thing to help her? He wouldn’t want anything to do with them either. Luther, Allison, and even Klaus weren’t allowed to come within an arm’s length of her without Five’s approval. Which didn’t happen without Vanya’s avid consent, oftentimes resulting with one of them becoming upset. Five knew he could be a bit controlling, but he also  _ knew  _ Vanya. He knew what made her uncomfortable and he could interpret the body signals she relayed when it was happening, too. 

Which is why it took everything in him, and a firm grip from Ben and Diego, to hold himself back from jumping to her and punching that asshole so hard he’d shit his pretty little teeth for weeks. When moments like that consumed him, nothing could console him except for the disappointment in Vanya’s soft eyes he knew would come crashing down. He couldn’t stand knowing he made her feel that way. She deserved better than that after all this time. 

However, Allison’s words acted as a catalyst. All of the anger he had been stewing in since they left, made him prone to explode. 

“Are you talking about the jackass that was clearly making her uncomfortable? Yeah, real cute.” His words were like dripping gasoline, just waiting for a spark to ignite it. Hostile and threatening. 

Allison rolled her eyes at him and huffed, “Vanya is a grown woman,  _ plus  _ another lifetime. I think she can make her own decisions.” 

Now everyone’s attention was on them as they all continued to walk toward Vanya’s place, unaware of the fiery storm raging in him. He strode up to Vanya’s side and got in Allison’s face. 

“Can she now?” He bit back the next words feeling Luther’s palm against his chest, pushing him back. 

“Back off, Five. Don’t ruin -” But he didn’t finish, Allison cutting him off. 

She pulled Vanya closer into her side protectively, practically insulting him. Did she really think he would do something to  _ Vanya? _ “Yeah! She knows when someone is  _ being a dick _ and is trying to control her life!” 

“Uh, hello? I’m standing right here if you want to know what I actually think.” A small voice said from between them. They had stopped walking at some point and Ben had added his hand to his shoulder. He looked down at her brown eyes, a slight tightness had formed around them, her lips pursed. 

Why did she only do that with him? Why didn’t she show that annoyance toward the jerks who were actually making her life more difficult? Maybe if she did, she wouldn’t have been manipulated into causing the apocalypse.

“I thought you would have learned from Peabody.” It left his mouth in a stream of flames, washing over her and melting the annoyance into hurt.  _ Damn it.  _

“Jesus, man. Why do you always take things too far?” Diego this time, pulling him away from Vanya with brute strength, his legs too stiff to function properly. 

He watched as Vanya turned away from him and Eudora, Allison, and Klaus continued toward her place with her in tow. The fire had been smothered, his insides just a pile of dry, smoking ashes. 

“Five, we talked about this. You can’t keep doing this to her -” Ben was saying in exasperation, before Five shrugged their hands off. He didn’t need their lectures. He was already drowning in his own shame, the raw sadness he brought out from the depths of her eyes, from her own memory of the bastard. She trusted him. Maybe even loved him. And he used her. 

Five turned away from his brothers and muttered, “I’ll meet you there.” He jumped to the roof of her apartment building, allowing the chilly breeze to bite at him. 

Ever since the falling of The Commission about a year ago, there had been an irritation in his gut he couldn’t itch. After all this time, almost his entire life, he didn’t have a mission. He was either surviving the apocalypse, trying to return home from the apocalypse, preventing the apocalypse, avoiding The Commission, or fixing Vanya. Now there weren’t any threats. No one to kill or fix. His world was safe and his family secure. So why couldn’t he enjoy his life? Was he too broken?

_ “You’re hyperfocusing on Vanya because you don’t have anything else to worry about.” Ben reasoned and then more wistfully, “Or it’s because you can finally have a relationship with her and you’re scared.”  _

To be honest, it wasn’t untrue. And it wasn’t the first time the subject came up. Five and Vanya had always been close and they were clear about their love for each other. Especially after having another go at being thirteen. Maybe it was the threat of losing one another to the apocalypse that brought them closer, or Five’s presence after being gone for so long that reawakened the budding feelings they held when they were young. He didn’t know, but Vanya’s inclusion into the family, despite their father’s strong disapproval, must have encouraged them all to be more affectionate and appreciative of their existence. 

Vanya held his hand more brazenly when she could sense his discomfort, or they would share hugs in quiet moments of solitude or when their trauma became too isolating. Either way, they conveyed their feelings through meaningful touches and supportive gestures. They didn’t need to tell each other. However, he had noticed his fingers twitching in her direction more often than not. He missed her warmth after only moments of being apart from her and he craved her more when they shared contact. He wanted  _ more.  _ But did she? 

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair, the coolness collecting in its strands. They had entered the building a few minutes ago, probably setting the table so that they could eat the food Grace had prepared for them. They were all shit at cooking after relying on her robotic ministrations. 

He jumped down to her door, sighed again, and knocked. Vanya opened it, a laugh on her lips. It fell from her, but the smile remained. She was relieved to see him, which should have given him more courage to speak, but it only seemed to drag him further into the distress of his actions. 

“Can I come in?” He asked, shoving his hands into his pockets and staring at her shoes. 

He watched as they stepped up to him. She must have changed out of her concert clothes and into a more casual outfit, as she now sported a pair of worn converse. 

Her hand gripped his arm gently, pulling him through the door as she whispered, “Wallowing in pity doesn’t look good on you.” 

He glanced up to see a playful smile and her eyes alight. He wouldn’t normally give in to such pathetic behavior, but when it came to Vanya, anything was possible. He opened his mouth to apologize, another habit he only allowed with her, but was interrupted by an overly excited Klaus holding a champagne bottle. 

“To our dearest Vanya!” The cork popped loudly, causing everyone to cower and protect faces from the unpredictable projectile. 

Five stepped in front of Vanya, the missile barely missing them and thunking into the door behind them. “Damn it, Klaus! You could have taken out someone’s eye!” He looked down at Vanya to find her laughing uncontrollably, her hands gripping the collar of his coat. The heaviness in his chest lifted at the closeness she encouraged and worry for her feelings vanished at the sound of her happiness. He grinned down at her, meeting her teary eyes. She had already forgiven him. 

The next few hours were spent at the foldable table Vanya rented to seat all seven of her siblings and Eudora. She went all out, also adorning the linen tablecloth with white china and shiny silverware. He knew it was an important night for her, but didn’t expect her practicality to be overwhelmed by her desire to hold a fancy dinner for her family. There was a pinch of guilt for not thinking of doing it for her instead of her doing it for them. He was glad that he thought far enough ahead to purchase a bouquet of flowers to give her after the show, though. She had them sitting proudly in a matching white vase, amongst all the sides Grace sent with the beef roast. 

It really was quite a lovely night, despite him ruining part of it with his jealousy. He enjoyed the company of his family when it was in situations that they could actually talk to each other as normal people rather than as part of a team. As much as he had a hard time adjusting to the change in lifestyle, he was glad to have his entire family survive their challenges.  _ “Maybe it’s okay to live like a normal person,”  _ he thought, glancing at Vanya. Her cheeks were flushed with the consumption of alcohol and the current conversation topic. They were bragging about the title of “child prodigy” she was given, as she scored first chair at nineteen-years-old. She disregarded their boasting with the fact that she technically had twenty-three years of experience rather than the six years she had to disclose to the public. She looked back at him, stifling a giggle and giving him a questioning quirk of her eyebrow. He reached out and took her hand, bringing it to cradle in his lap. He sensed she understood his thoughts because she brushed her thumb across the inside of his wrist and smiled shyly. His heartbeat stuttered. 

The night was drawing to a close as Eudora and Diego began putting on their coats after cleaning up the table. Everyone else followed suit, except for Five. He went to the sink and began washing the dishes, knowing Vanya wouldn’t sleep until it was done. He turned to say his goodbyes and caught sight of Allison and Vanya whispering to each other. Women tend to look at the person they are talking about, thinking that person won’t notice. The person almost always does, at least in his case. He watched Allison’s face turn from irritated to soft and finally stubborn acceptance. He couldn’t see Vanya’s expression but he assumed she was convincing their sister that she wasn’t worried about him staying after Allison left. As if she needed protection. Five rolled his eyes and returned to his task. 

The door shut in finality, the loudness of their family migrating down the hall outside. Vanya sighed and came up to his other side, holding a towel. 

“I can finish cleaning up. We were celebrating you tonight, remember?” He said, eyeing her suggestively. He knew he was wasting his breath. She was always so unwilling to let them do anything for her. Especially when it was in appreciation of her. He believed she still blamed herself for the ending of the world. The world he suffered in. So, she didn’t think she deserved their love. 

She yawned and smiled, “It won’t take that long if we’re both working together.” 

“You’re hopeless.” He grunted, receiving a swat in the arm. They grinned at each other and continued. They gossipped a little about their siblings, commenting on Diego and Eudora’s PDA and the continued awkwardness between Allison and Luther. Their conversation lulled after Vanya explained Allison’s hesitancy for pursuing a relationship with Luther and the silverware was all that remained of their job. 

The quiet was pushing his thoughts into dangerous territory again, reminding himself that he still never apologized for what he said. For bringing up such painful memories.

He cleared his throat and handed her another fork to be dried. “I - um - wanted to say sorry for what I said earlier.” He glanced at her and found her eyes on him, waiting for him to say more. It was enough for his resolve to break and all of his worries to spill out of him like his mouth was a broken dam. He dropped the knives back into the water with a plop and braced himself on the edge of the sink with his palms, “I just don’t understand why you let people who make you uncomfortable continue to touch you. Or talk to you. I don’t know if you’re just trying to be nice and not step on any toes because you work with them, but that doesn’t give them the right to invade your space when you’re clearly  _ not okay with it.  _ You need to tell them to ‘ _ fuck off’  _ or punch them or something!” He dropped the rag he was washing with and turned toward her in exasperation, “I don’t want you to get hurt again, but I can’t be around to kick someone’s ass all the time. I need to know that you’re taking care of yourself. People are scum. They can’t be trusted.” His eyes wandered to her door, opening another can of worms for him to dig into, “Which is another reason why you need new locks!” He gestured to the door and window, “For god sakes, Vanya, I don’t know how many times I have to say it. Rapists can climb! Put goddamn locks on the windows!” He was still wildly pointing at the windows when his attention was brought back to her as she hugged his middle. 

He sighed loudly, dropping his arms. “Why are you hugging me?” The words he just spewed from his mouth, processing bitterly. She should be punching him for being so bossy, another piece of evidence that she was too nice. “I’m a jerk.” 

Her head tipped back to look up at him, her eyelashes fluttering in concern, “Five, you’re just worried about me. It’s okay.” 

He growled slightly, “It’s  _ not  _ okay. Allison was right. I’m too controlling.” He frowned, still holding his arms at his sides, not deserving of her affections. “I’m the kind of guy I’m talking about. You shouldn’t trust me.” It was true. He was even more dangerous than that blonde asshole. Five was a killer. He was even more unpredictable now without the direction of a mission. He was scared of himself sometimes. 

She sighed, reaching up to cup his cheek. She brought his attention back to her, pulling him from his self-doubt. “You’re doing that thing again.” 

“What?” He asked, avoiding her eyes, knowing the influence they had on him. 

“You’re deciding what I think without even knowing what I  _ actually  _ think.” 

He met her eyes now, her thumb tapping impatiently along his jaw. She could be so insistent, sometimes. 

“Just because you think I shouldn’t trust you, doesn’t mean I don’t.” She said raising her eyebrows, almost like she was scolding him. “I trust you because you worry about me and take care of me. I know you would never hurt me -” He opened his mouth to protest, the very thing he was apologizing for in the foreground of their conversation being a contradiction, but she moved her hand over his mouth now, knowing he wouldn’t stop unless she physically impaired him, “- you would never hurt me  _ intentionally _ . We all say things we don’t mean when we’re upset.” Her hand dropped from his mouth to his dismay. He liked the feel of his lips pressed against her skin. It rested on his chest, right above his heart. She dropped her eyes as well, a sadness cloaking her next words, “I did learn from Leonard. I learned that trust was hard to find, even if you love them.” 

He touched her cheek, the sorrow transferring into his fingers and spreading in his chest. Leonard Peabody, or Harold Jenkins, whatever his stupid name was, didn’t become a topic for them to discuss over the years. It was an unspoken mistake, they all agreed was better left forgotten. But now that he heard from her own mouth that she  _ did  _ love him, and it wasn’t just assumed, it hurt more than ever. He hated himself for making her say it. 

She leaned into his hand, his fingers pressing themselves into her hair. “But I trust you, Five.” She said, placing her hand over his, as if she needed to hold him there. He didn’t think she understood how impossible it was for him to leave her at that moment. “I trust you more than anyone, because I -” She choked on her words, her face reddening sweetly. “I know we haven’t said it to each other yet but -,” she stumbled over herself, drawing him in nearer, the light lavender scent of her hair brushing his nose. It was devouring him again. The need for more. And she was already dismissing his worry, the words he has felt from her from when they were children the first time, finally bubbling to her lips, “I love you, Five.”

As she bravely met his eyes, he was ready to steal the love he had been craving, pressing his lips to hers. She gasped over his mouth, but quickly returned the kiss. He had never kissed anyone before, and he was kicking himself for waiting so long to do it with Vanya. She was the only one he wanted to kiss. 

She pulled away first, their eyes opening at the same time to gaze quietly. Already, he was missing the soft warmth of her lips, wanting to kiss her harder and feel her push back at him. 

“I think this is the longest you’ve gone without talking.” She teased, glancing at his lips in embarrassment. 

“I love you, too, Vanya.” He blurted, cringing at the lack of grace in his words. He sounded like a child. His self-conscious thoughts were remedied by the wide smile spreading across her pretty face.  _ “She’s gorgeous,”  _ he mused to himself.  _ “And I got to kiss her.”  _

He smiled back at her, his body light and free of any irritations he may have been suffering before. All he could feel was Vanya pressed against him. 

“I suppose that was your first kiss?” She asked, a mischievous grin replacing the previous softness. She nudged his cheek with her nose, bringing their lips within the smallest breadth of each other. Electricity shot through his body at her actions, crushing them closer together with his fisted hand at her waist. “I feel honored to have stolen your first kiss, Princess.” 

The smirk she urged out of him ruined the scowl he attempted at her comment. He leaned into her more, their foreheads together but she stopped him for another agonizing minute to say something else. And she was teasing  _ him  _ for being talkative. 

“Just for the record, I punched Jack in the face when we weren’t in eyesight of the rest of the orchestra.” A flicker of pride lit her eyes and he could just  _ kiss her. _

“That’s my girl.” He mumbled, reuniting their mouths in feverish need. He wanted to see how much  _ more  _ he could get out of her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first explicit fic! I hope you enjoy it! It was made with love and lots of wine! 
> 
> P.S. Five is really quiet and unsure and Vanya is really confident and demanding.... I hope I do them justice in their switched positions!

It was pleasant and sweet in the beginning. Their mouths moved gently against each other, improving the sensation of their growing fondness during this new display of affection. 

Five was burning up with the amount of need he was suddenly requiring from Vanya. Her mouth tasted like a delightful cocktail of the cherry pie Mother made for them and the pink champagne they all used to make toasts about her achievements. Goosebumps rose where the tips of her hair brushed his forearms. His heart felt like it was beating hard enough to hinder his lungs’ function. He wasn’t breathing properly.

He leaned into Vanya further, guiding them into the back of a chair that screeched with the impact. Vanya giggled a little, the vibrations tickling his teeth pleasantly. It urged him to deepen their kiss, dropping his jaw and tilting his head in rhythm with her. _ He wanted more. _

If someone asked him who was leading this passionate display, he would proudly claim himself as the mastermind. But, his clumsy hands and eager mouth might have told a different story. Vanya graciously guided his lips into a much more tender position with just as much satisfaction and stroked his cheek in a calming attempt to soothe him. 

He didn’t realize he needed soothing until he gripped the edge of the table enough for it to creak beneath his palm. Suddenly, he broke their kiss with a gasp, bowing his head to try taking in more air. _ Had he stopped breathing? _

“Five! You have to breathe!” Vanya still stood trapped between his arms as he clutched the table behind her. She was stroking his cheek as before but with more urgency. He was worrying her and he regretted every second of it. 

“I’m - I’m okay.” He panted, feeling a slight chill in his eyes as they watered. His chest was tight and his skin clammy, irritating his brain into recognizing the panic attack he was experiencing. “Damn it.” He ground out, his shaky breathing causing his muscles to twitch uncomfortably. 

He squeezed his eyes shut and tensed his arms against the table again, refusing to let himself fall to the floor. He was ruining it with Vanya. He hadn’t realized how badly he wanted this to happen until it was and he was having an existential crisis about it. He had waited so long. He had _ loved _ her for so long. As much as he fought with the idea of loving her even before he jumped into the future the first time, because it made living in a world without her easier, he knew it was there. It might have been a tiny little seed at the time, but as he grew older and he got to know her through her book, and through their second childhood, it bloomed into something gritty and thick that couldn’t be ripped from his heart no matter their hardships or his efforts. He needed her love as much as he needed his to be received. 

And as much as he loved Delores, there was a part of him that knew his love wasn’t reciprocated or cherished like a real human with biological processes. Somehow, that was more important to him and his will to live than for him to have someone to love. Because if you don’t have someone to love you, what’s the point?

“Damn it.” He grumbled again, feeling real tears of emotion welling up. He knew there was no hiding it from Vanya. She knew him better than he knew himself.

Her fingers traced the skin on his cheeks, definitely feeling his tears through the sweat that had built up there. She kissed his forehead and pulled his head so it rested on her shoulder. He leaned into the curve of her neck and let the last few frustrated tears dry to her skin. 

His breathing had slowed to match the soft strokes of her fingers on the back of his head, combing through his sweaty hair. Her own breathing tickled his ear as she occasionally turned to plant kisses along the side of his face. He enjoyed this new calming method, recalling all the times they had held each other’s hands or offered comforting hugs similar to their current position. They had even shared their beds to one another in particularly difficult moments. But now that they could kiss each other, it opened up a world of new comfort. His face heated at the thoughts he had struggled to control when his testosterone and manly instincts became too overwhelming. 

He finally released the poor table from his tight grip and wrapped himself around Vanya. She was the most solid person in his life. Even their siblings still had a tendency of being flighty. But not Vanya. He could always count on her kind eyes and words of understanding. 

He breathed in her skin as he ran his nose along her neck. She shivered against him to his satisfaction. He kissed her jaw as she whispered, “We can slow down, Five.” 

_ He ruined it. _“I don’t want to.” He replied, probably channeling his younger self’s tendency to be a bit stubborn and irrational. He kissed along her jaw again, back to her earlobe, lingering there to nuzzle the skin where her jaw and neck met. He had always wanted to kiss her there. The slightest noise left the back of her throat dropping his mind into a fuzzy haze.

She gently guided him away from that tender spot and forced him to look at her. Her face was flushed from his attention but her concern overcame any desire she might have had to continue their previous activities. 

“If we need to slow down, that’s okay -” She tried again, causing his trademark impatience to bubble up. 

“- No, it’s not. I don’t want to waste anymore time -” He stopped himself, the harshness in his voice registering. He took a deep breath, ready to expose his whole heart to her, the part that was selfish and suppressed, something he had never done with anyone. Not even her. 

“We have waited long enough. I don’t want to wait anymore.” As soon as he said those words, he knew it was the wrong thing to say. Anything to do with the mistakes of their past affecting their present was enough to throw Vanya into her personal pit of insecurity and regret. She was always one to dwell in the past. 

And well enough, the shade of guilt dampened her eyes. “I’m sorry.” She mouthed just enough for him to hear. She always blamed herself for everything that happened and it was beyond his understanding.

He shook his head, ducking down to meet her eyes that had dropped from his face. “No, you aren’t. You’re not allowed to be sorry for something we were all responsible for causing.” 

She looked up at him, her head still drooping. It was reminiscent of when they were children and she would look at everyone like that. Her eyes peeking through her hair hesitantly. She wasn’t that girl anymore, though. He wouldn’t let her sink to that level again. 

“I can’t help the way I feel. I still feel sorry for destroying the world you had to live in for so long by yourself.” He took her face in his hands as tears leaked from her eyes and the freshly cleaned dishes rattled behind him. 

“Vanya, you don’t deserve to feel sorry for that.” He urged, wanting to find a way to erase those feelings forever. He figured out how to time-travel, surely erasing someone’s mind couldn’t be that hard to figure out. “You didn’t deserve a lot of things that happened in your life, but you are making it right. You’re living the life you should have the first time.”

“You didn’t deserve the life you lived either,” she argued, the cabinet doors rumbling now. 

He grinned knowing their conversation was coming full circle and it was going to either piss her off or make her laugh, so he pointed out, “And I am making it right to live the life I should have had the first time, too. We both deserve better.” 

He raised his eyebrows to emphasize the impracticality of their argument and compliment the smirk he knew was growing on his face. He watched her carefully, worried that his arrogant attitude would sour her mood rather than raise it, as he had a hard time judging when he should be using it and when he should not. 

Luckily for him, she didn’t respond in either of the ways that he had predicted and instead, closed the small distance between them and smothered her mouth with his in an entirely different way than before. It was serious and passionate and it dragged out the deepest feelings of love and desire he had hidden. He didn’t even know how strong they had become until this moment when he assumed she gave up her waiting. And she was laying her heart wide-open for him. 

His hands were already holding her face, so all he had to do was let himself get lost in Vanya. From what he could tell with his eyes squeezed shut, Vanya was gripping the front of his shirt pulling him nearer to her. 

“Five,” she gasped over his mouth, moving to leave open mouthed kisses all along his jawline, her teeth just barely scraping his skin, setting all of his nerves on fire. “You were right.” She sucked on the same spot he had, just underneath his ear. 

“Jesus.” He hissed, the sensation clouding his mind to the point of no return. 

She tugged him down further to her so she could whisper in his ear, “We aren’t waiting anymore.” 

He turned to kiss her mouth again, but she had started walking away from him, pulling his hand along behind her. He followed her blindly as if his mind had completely disconnected and he was at her mercy. 

He watched as her back was to him, her hair falling down the straight, confidence of it, curling softly at the ends. His feet inadvertently sped up to keep pace with her as his brain was finally catching up to the reality of her intentions as they walked into her bedroom. A storm was beginning to shake the windows on the other side of the room, but he paid it no mind. 

Her hair swayed around as she turned on him and took his collar as before and shyly peered into his eyes. He had never seen them so dark and mesmerizing. He was truly feeling like there was some sort of mind manipulation to her powers, as she kept his gaze and knelt into his lap as he unexpectedly sat on the bed. 

Her fingers ventured under his shirt, her eyes watching as he sighed at her warm touch. No one had ever touched him like this. No one had ever touched him like this even in his dreams. 

She began kissing him lightly, their lips barely creating any pressure but exciting the nerves enough to quicken his breathing. How could something so slight be enough to send him over the edge? 

Vanya became more enticing as she licked her lips but included his in their touch as they were still close enough to kiss. With one hand still tracing his collarbone under his shirt, the other pressed into his jaw, guiding his head back so he was looking up at her. Again, her eyes captured him as she bit his lip gently, eliciting an involuntary groan to rise up from his throat, a deep heat following in its wake. 

“You can touch me, too, you know.” She whispered, a little pouty. Her lips were glistening and her eyelashes shaded her dusky umber gleam. She drug his arm up from where he was clutching the sheets, and ran her fingers down his forearm until they caressed his palm. He felt as if he was a puppet that she controlled and he didn’t have the will to deny her. 

To his chagrin and excitement, she pressed his hand to her breast. He stared wide-eyed at her hand as it pushed his own upward into the softness of the curvature, the fabric of her sweater bunching up between his fingers. 

A giggle broke his concentration as his head snapped up to look at her again. His face felt hot and his palms sweaty. 

“What?” He asked breathlessly, untrusting of his own voice’s integrity if he spoke louder. 

“I was getting worried that you forgot how to talk.” She grinned, blush touching the tops of her cheeks, too.

He huffed, looking away, “I’ve never done this before.” Somehow his embarrassment intensified the heat in his face, his ears burning. He wasn’t used to being the one who didn’t know what to do.

“I know, I’m sorry.” Her voice was soft and brought his attention back to her, “Technically, this is my body’s first time, too.” And her color reddened into his territory. It made him feel better knowing their bodies were experiencing this new intimacy together. 

“I’m glad,” he replied tenderly, “I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.” She smiled warmly back at him, the low light from the streetlights outside her window winked in the wetness that built up along her eyelids. He stretched his neck out to kiss her again, accepting the fact that she would be the expert and he let go of the overwhelming need to control every situation he was in. He let himself trust her, like she trusted him. 

As if talking broke him of the boyish daze, he finally let his hands gravitate in the directions his instincts told him. The hand at her chest dropped to her lower waist where he snuck his thumb up under her hem and explored her skin. She sighed over his mouth and crept her eager hands into his shirt further, probing the skin of his shoulders and chest. As his fingers pressed into her lower back, his thumbs wrapping around to her hip bones, she unbuttoned his shirt, giving her more access to the expanse of his torso. 

Her kisses were deepening and her body becoming more restless as she moved against him. The straddle she had him in kept his erection between them, her movements jostling him pleasurably. If she kept this up, he wasn’t sure he would even make it to the point that she was referring to earlier. 

He broke from her mouth’s enchantment and nibbled at her slender neck, mapping out the spots that made her gasp the loudest and pull his hair the hardest. 

“Here, move.” She commanded, pushing his face away so she could remove her shirt, revealing a plain black bra framing her breasts. He quickly resumed his concentration on her neck, only to leave open mouthed kisses down her chest until he reached the edge of the cushioned fabric. 

He had a hand up to crease the bra, uncovering more of the soft, pale flesh, until she took his hand and guided it up and under the wire of the base. This action quickly released the hold it had and disclosed the absolute beauty of her. She finished the final removal of the garment and tossed it aside before gasping as he ghosted his lips over the almost creamy texture, enjoying the sensation of it against his own skin. He nudged her with his nose, before caressing the curve with his tongue and following it up to her nipple. 

“Ah, Five.” She breathed, her voice stirring his insides and making his dick harder. He fought the urge to buck against her, his arousal becoming more intense. 

No matter his lack of experience, it seemed whatever he did made her happy. He lazily circled his tongue around the darkness of her protrusion and then covered it with his mouth, rewarding him with more movement from Vanya, a whimper accompanied a tug from her fingers at the back of his head. 

He grunted at the impact of her pelvis against his stiffness, gripping her hip as he continued his process on the other side; starting with soft touches of his lips and teeth, and moving until she was in his mouth with his tongue licking and poking until she gasped his name. 

He was having a lot of fun exploring what made her grind against him and bite his earlobe in praise. It was until she trailed down his front, that the control he thought he was gaining, was lost as she stroked him through his dress pants. 

“Shit.” He groaned, resting his forehead in the middle of her sternum. Her touch was enough to leave his head dizzy and muscles taut. She didn’t help his predicament as her lips mimicked his previous technique and worked their way from his ear down his neck, hitting every sensitive spot on the way. She really did know what she was doing. 

Again, she had him under her power as his pants were suddenly unbuttoned and her palm squeezed his member over his boxers. He didn’t know what it was that made him see stars behind his closed eyes, but he was sure Vanya was a sex god. 

“Take your pants off.” She demanded, pulling at a belt loop. The restraint they were causing seemed to irritate her. The way she bossed him around turned him on even more, excited to see this side of her. 

“Yes, ma’am.” He saluted, standing as she got up from his lap and mirrored him as she hurriedly dropped her jeans and stood with only black panties covering her bottom half. He was exposed only in his boxers, the head of his penis peeking out. He was feeling a little self-conscious so he moved closer to the one person who made him comfortable and hugged her close. 

It was reminiscent of their normal embraces. Tender and intentional. He really, _ really _loved her. 

“I love you more than I thought I could ever love someone.” She breathed, staring at his chest. He was sure she could hear his heart rate increase since her head was nestled just above his heart. 

He traced a finger under her chin and lifted until he could see her eyes again, saying as genuinely as possible, “I’ll never love someone as much as I love you.” 

“Promise?” She whispered, her past life’s insecurity rearing its ugly head. He would do anything to remove that part of her. But he supposed the strength she gained from it made her the person he loved. 

“Always.” He responded, crouching to lift her up. Her legs naturally hooked around him as he brought them to the bed and carefully laid her down on the comforter. 

Their short respite from the physical attention of before was reawakened as they reunited their mouths in feverish need, their tongues sliding into each other. He nibbled at her lips as she had done to him, seeming to get more of a rise out of himself than her, finding that he needed to restrain himself from biting down harder. Vanya didn’t hold back as she sucked at his neck and sunk her teeth into a spot near his pulse. He humped against her, the foreplay they engaged in was beginning to run its course and he could barely hold it together any longer. 

“Mmm, V-Vanya.” He grumbled into her shoulder as she squeezed his buttcheeks, rubbing his length against her core. She responded similarly and bit him again on the other side of his throat, causing his whole body to throb with desire. 

As she sucked on his bottom lip, she slipped her fingers under his waistband and hunched to pull his underwear off, freeing his tight, overly sensitive dick. He had a feeling she knew he was tender as she ran a fingertip from the base between his balls, all the way to the tip where he dripped precum onto her belly. 

He grunted, trying his hardest not to fall down on top of her, as his body vibrated at her touch. He wanted her to feel good too, so he hooked a finger into her panties and then another, and followed the wetness and her moans until his fingers were hugged by her folds. 

“Oh, Five!” She exclaimed, pulling on his dick and reaching behind to cup his balls. 

He nearly choked on the gasp she provoked and continued to feel out her vagina. After a few presses, he located her entrance and gently stroked it with a finger. She squirmed against him and puffed out another big breath. 

“I read somewhere that this will make it easier for you.” He whispered into her ear in reassurance. 

She gasped again as he pulled out to tease another finger into the equation, knowing that she would still hurt even if he tried stretching her a bit before replacing it with his larger penis. 

“And where did you read that, n-naughty boy -” She tried snarking back before he eased both fingers in, his thumb bumping some flesh near the top of her sex. 

“Five!” She shouted pushing his hand away, nearly ripping her underwear in the act. 

He went cold for a moment, thinking that he hurt her, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have -”

“No, you idiot! Do you want me to come right now?” She huffed, her face sweaty and flushed. 

“I didn’t know -” He started, confused by her reaction. 

She released her hold on the pillow behind her and smiled up at him, reaching to touch his cheek. She laughed a little, relieving him from his befuddlement, “You were hitting my clit, Five. Your fingers are already so skilled at something you don’t know anything about. It’s not even fair.” She kissed him passionately, her tongue teasing him again. “It’s so cute how unsure you are. You’re always so confident.” He knew she was just pumping up his pride because she knew he was struggling with this new skill set. She kissed him again, pulling him closer, “I think I’m going to enjoy teaching you something new.” 

She was right, he didn’t understand a lot about how to make sex good. He knew the anatomy of a man and woman and he learned the tip about making a woman’s first time less painful from a biology book during his time in the apocalypse. He thought it would give him some material to satisfy his moments of arousal, but its technical diagrams didn’t do it for him. He was glad he had Vanya to practice on. 

Apparently, she was feeling the dullness of their dry humping and wanted to continue on their sexual journey, as she pulled her panties off the rest of the way and felt out his dick. 

“Are you sure you want to? I don’t want to hurt you.” He breathed, searching her eyes for any hesitation. 

“I’ve done it once before, I can do it again.” She reasoned, before adding, “What’s the point in waiting?” 

He waited a moment longer in case she changed her mind, but her gaze was steady and confident. He nodded lightly and lowered his body so she could guide his tip up to her entrance. He was more distracted by watching her reaction than the feeling of sliding into her. He almost backed out, watching her eyebrows pull together but she kept her heels firmly in the flesh of his butt so he couldn’t escape and she could control his movement. 

“I’m alright.” She promised, stroking the wrinkles of concern out of his forehead. 

“Don’t lie to me.” He threatened deeply. He promised to never hurt her and here he was, hurting her so he could feel pleasure. 

She laughed softly, “Five, I know you would never hurt me intentionally,” reminding him of their conversation after supper; it felt as if it had been days ago by now, “This is what I want for us both. I want to feel good _ with _you.” 

He nodded again, the calming tone of her voice relieved his shame just the slightest. She pushed him in up until his balls grazed her ass, and he lost himself in her. He was so concerned about Vanya’s wellbeing that he forgot to focus on the fact that he was having sex. 

Vanya kissed his chin and pulled him to her so she could get to his lips. He opened his eyes and found her looking up at him in a state of ecstacy, her eyes half-lidded. “You can move now.” She confirmed gently. 

He bowed his head to watch what he was doing and found it to be too overwhelming, as he pulled back out, her walls slick against him. 

“Oh, fuck.” He groaned, moving out and then back in slowly. He wasn’t sure how much Vanya could take and he was honestly satisfied with the pace, worried he would come too early. He wanted her to feel pleasure. 

She sighed, and wrapped her legs around him like before but only to hold him in her longer before she relaxed enough for him to slide out again. They continued their leisurely rate for a long time, just enjoying the sensation of each other and allowing their arousal to build up. 

“Faster.” Vanya gasped, biting his neck, regaining her previous demeanor. He sucked on her earlobe, refraining from crying out himself as the new friction was sending him closer and closer to his orgasm. 

“Your hand.” Vanya said breathlessly amidst his buzzing pulse.

“What?” He gasped, his slow thought process not helping his situation. 

“Give me your hand.” She said more forcefully, pulling one out from behind her head and pushing it down across her belly to where they were connected. He slowed down in confusion and she whined, “Don’t stop, keep going.” 

She turned his hand over and directed his thumb to the edge of her vagina and whimpered, “There. Rub right there!” 

He did as he was told, feeling a slight bump in the flesh. She was still so wet that his thumb slid right over the spot and she shouted with pleasure. 

“Oh! Five! I think - I think I’m -” The walls around him tightened and squeezed him hard like it was her hand. 

He quickly followed her and came hard, grunting her name and shaking under the pressure. He panted against her neck as he laid on top of her, her hand stroking the back of his head like he needed soothing again. He turned his face into her hair and felt her equally as heavy breathing brushing passed his ear. It was so much better than he could imagine. No wonder sex was so sought after. He always thought people’s reckless desire for it was overrated and impractical, but he was understanding the appeal of it now. 

As they both calmed their breathing and let their bodies melt into each other, Vanya pushed at him lightly and said, “I need to clean up real quick.” 

He hummed in response and moved as if he was 58-years-old again. He really appreciated the youthful energy he had in his current body, but his mind was still borderline elderly. His penis slid out, it’s hardness lessening with its release as he carefully moved off of her, their sweaty skin sticking together. 

She kissed his temple before rolling out of bed. How could she have so much energy after that? He wasn’t sure how long she was gone, but it was long enough for him to doze off. 

As she sat on the bed and jostled him awake, she apologized and curled up to his side. 

“There she is.” He mumbled, smirking as he flopped his head to the side and inhaled the lavender scent of her shampoo again. The storm had calmed and a light pattering of rain remained.

“Was it worth the wait?” She quipped softly, a tinge of vulnerability in her joke. He wouldn’t be able to convince her of the fact that she was an extraordinary person overnight. But, he vowed to never give up. 

“It was beyond worth the wait. Could you imagine waiting longer?” He teased, rolling to his side so he could trace her hairline. 

“I’m glad you didn’t listen to me.” She smiled, blush pushing up into her cheeks again. He leaned into her, kissing her gently again. He wanted to see how much _ more _he could get out of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, oh boy. I wasn't sure if this chapter was ever going to exist but I made it happen! ... only 4 months later.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! Please give me some feedback. I've never written a sex scene before and I want to know if it was any good! I'm hoping it's a nice distraction from the current turmoil of our world. Thank you and wash your hands for 20 seconds! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was a worthy addition to the Fiveya collection! I almost did another chapter, following these events *winky face* but decided I didn't have time :( 
> 
> Thank you for reading! And I always appreciate hearing from you lovely people <3


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